I don't have Glaucoma!

That is certainly a good relief. Some of you may know that I have been suffering from some severe eye pain since around Christmas time. Being that the only eye diseases I'm aware of are Glaucoma and Cataract and it wasn't anything like a scratched cornea or detached retina I was kind of nervous. It was kind of dumb to have delayed getting it checked out for so long but the good news is it is only a reoccuring corneal abrasion which is caused by my dry eyes. I'm pretty sure the "bone dry" air from my flight to Chicago started it all. The doctor explained that you can get some of the cells of your cornea... abrased? Is that a word? Anyways, it hurts like the dickens but our resourceful bodies can hell that stuff in just one day. The problem is if you have dry eyes like me, those healed cells don't dig their roots in (that could take up to 30 days) and 'rip' they get... abrased again. Cue copious eye ball veins. I was hoping that I was undergoing some sort of mutation that would grant me night vision or some super vision power in my left eye but I guess being normal is better than on the road to being a pirate. Aargggh. Not that there's anything wrong with pirates.

I was thinking, would a girl like a pirate or a ninja better and I think it'd have to be a pirate because unlike ninjas, you'd actually see a pirate. You'd never see the ninja. You'd wake up pregnant one day with nothing more than a note pinned on the wall with a ninja star reading "you got served, <3" He wouldn't even sign his name cause he'd have to kill you if you knew. The pirate on the otherhand would leave you all the time. Sure they're probably witty. Some are rich. Most are probably poor and smelly with a symphony of seaward sicknesses. You'd see them once every... 2 years? I dunno. And you know they're cheating on you. And contracting STDs. And saying "booty" a lot.

Does anyone want to go to the Winchester Mansion with me?